Why our family justice system is failing families

It's not often I say it, but on this occasion I am going to have to. As afamily law solicitor in Liverpool, serving the Wirral and St Helens, for the past 25 years, I have to say the law is an ass.

You might be wondering what has led me to this conclusion? Well, it's the case of a 61-year-old father who has been granted 82 court orders to see his daughter, yet still the mother has refused him access.

And if that wasn't bad enough, the courts have been unable to enforce the orders, which confirms how weak our family court system really is.

It's not often that I will criticise what is going on in my own backyard, but this case has left me no option because not only does it reflect badly on family law in England and Wales but it is also highlighting how the court system is failing children.

There is also the issue of time and money - the mother has been able to claim legal aid whilst the father has spent over £100,000 in 12 years trying to see his 14-year-old daughter. What a waste of time and public resources for a situation that should have been resolved a very long time ago.

Even though three months ago, the Court of Appeal ordered that the case be resolved, it is still ongoing and faces further delays because the family court, where it has been referred back to, is seeking expert advice.

Meanwhile, the child of this couple has become the innocent victim of a legal wrangle and has lost valuable time with her father, who the Court of Appeal decreed was "irreproachable.” Read my blog about Rachel Neustadt regarding child custody issues.

As a Liverpool divorce lawyer, serving the Wirral and St Helens, my professional approach means that this situation is not common with my clients. However, when it does occur, I am often left feeling frustrated and angry at how long it takes the court to resolve these situations. After all, time not spent with a child is lost forever.

According to Families Need Fathers, a charity which provides support and assistance to both married and unmarried parents during a family breakdown, the situation where one parent refuses the other parent contact with their child is a weekly occurrence.

That's why if you are going through a divorce or separation, you need to make sure that it is your children who are the priority and not warring with your ex- partner.

I am getting divorced, can my ex stop me being involved with our children?

Under family law in England and Wales, there are parental rights - not mother's rights or father's rights - which are referred to as parental responsibilities. This means that as a parent you have a duty to care for and protect your child or children.

These parental responsibilities give you the right as a parent to contribute to decisions regarding your child's future such as consenting to medical treatment, which school they attend, how they should be brought up, choosing their name and choosing their religion.

In black and white, this theory is ideal - if every divorced or separated parent were to logically behave in this way, then we wouldn't need the family courts. Unfortunately, the reality is very different with about 10 per cent of cases turning to the courts for assistance.

What do I do if my ex is being difficult about me seeing my children?

If you and your ex can't resolve the issues regarding your children between you and your solicitors have been unable to assist, then it would be a good idea to try mediation.

Trained mediators work with both of you to try and resolve issues such as residence, contact, finance, property and education, all which can be included in a legal document known as a consent order.

The good thing about mediation is that it allows you to talk openly about the things you need to make decisions about as well as possibly saving you money by avoiding costly legal and court fees.

Another added benefit is that it should improve communication between you and your ex particularly as there is someone else in the room who is there to help you both reach agreement.

However, mediation does not necessarily mean you won't have to go to court and you should still consult a solicitor so that they can review any documents and proposals.

Mediation has failed, who will decide where my children live?

This will probably be the time when you will need to go to court. The family court will consider all the arguments with regard to who the child/children will live with and how often they will see their other parent.

When deciding who a child will live with, the court will make a residence order which will be valid until they are 16-years-old unless it rules that it should last longer.

The order stops anyone changing the surname or removing from the UK, for more than one month, any child who is the subject of the order without the agreement of those with parental responsibility or an order from the court.

The court has decided my children will live with my ex, can I still see them?

In this situation, the court will make a contact order which means that the parent the child/children are living with, has to allow them time with their other parent. These orders tend to last until the child is 16.

At the outset of the agreement, it is best to specify certain days and times so that a routine is created for both parents and the child/children - children really like to know what and when they are doing things.

As a family law solicitor in Liverpool, serving the Wirral and St Helens, I always advise my clients to be flexible with their children and do things that are age appropriate. For instance, a young child will be happy to stay over with you but an older child will have more of an independent social life and will probably want to sleep over at friends. Whatever you do, just listen to your children - don't make them feel their opinion doesn't count.

As residence and contact orders are decreed by the court, they theoretically have to be complied with otherwise this will be regarded as contempt of court and can lead to serious consequences.

Although in the case I have discussed earlier, as a Liverpool divorce lawyer serving the Wirral and St Helens, it is clear that despite ignoring 82 orders, the mother has not received any legal recourse thus showing that the family court is not working as effectively as it ought.

Why do you think the courts haven't been able to enforce these court orders? Have you been affected by your ex not complying with a court or residence order?