Divorce boosts confidence in women, research claims

Divorce can boost self-esteem and confidence in women.

A new study shows divorce, along with the menopause and motherhood, boosts confidence and self-worth amongst women. But exactly how true is this surmise?

The study to explore sexual evolution was conducted by Professor Beth Montemurro from Pennsylvania State University. The professor interviewed 95 women, aged between 20 and 68. Montemurro found that the older women got, their attitudes about relationships, sex and self-worth changed in a way the professor described as "surprising".

The study found that life events which tend to occur as women grow older, such as getting a good job, marriage, motherhood, divorce and menopause, contributed to boosting women's confidence and self-esteem.

Common sense prevails that elements such as being promoted at work, getting married and becoming a mother is likely to boost feelings of self-worth amongst women. What is more surprising however is the fact the study revealed issues such as divorce and the menopause can give women a boost of confidence.

A journey of self-discovery

Many of the women who participated in the study admitted that divorce initiated a journey of self-discovery and provided the opportunity to find sexual relationships on their own terms. Many of the women asserted that they considered the end of their marriage as a new chapter in their life, rather than an end.

"Some women, especially older women, felt divorce bolstered their self-confidence,” said Professor Montemurro".

"In many cases they looked at divorce not as an ending, but as a second chance to seek out something they wanted, rather than following their partner's lead", continued the professor.

The research also found that getting older and the menopause also led to heightened feelings of self-acceptance.

Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise divorce

One high profile case of a woman feeling and looking visibly happier following divorce is that of Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise.

An article in The Observer highlights how Nicole Kidman's body language when her divorce from Cruise had finally gone through, was "screaming with joy".

"Kidman's confidence that this is the right decision is shared by millions of other women around the world. For all the evidence, both statistical and anecdotal, suggests that women fare better in divorce than men", states The Observer.

There is however conflicting literature that suggests divorce can be detrimental to a woman's confidence.

The Womans Divorce website is designed to help women survive divorce and rebuild their lives following a divorce.

The site acknowledges that a woman's confidence levels after divorce might be shaky. It advises that women might need to take the necessary steps to rebuild their life and move forward in the wake of a divorce.

Womens Divorce maps out six general stages to recovery after divorce as:

  • Denial
  • Anger and resentment
  • Depression and guilt
  • Loneliness
  • Accepting the situation
  • Forgiving yourself and your ex-partner

Like relationships themselves, every divorce is different. Whilst there are women who may feel they are turning a positive new corner in their lives by getting divorced, there are others who feel lonely, frightened and fraught with uncertainty.

Has your confidence or the self-assurance of a friend or relative been affected by divorce? Did you, like the Pennsylvania State University research found, find a renewed sense of self-worth after getting divorced? Or did your confidence take a knock when you separated from a partner? We'd love to hear about our readers' views and experiences.

If you have any concerns or questions you want answering about any element of divorce, get in touch with Tracey Miller Family Law for professional and friendly advice.

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